just another manic monday...

up early.  the sun was up at 5:30.  the quiet is nice. had a pretty busy weekend and we're staring down a packed week.  having one of those up-early-worrying-about-something-said-yesterday mornings.  it was one of those moments when you said something that you didn't want to say because you know it is a dig and could potentially be hurtful.  but deep down, you've been dying to say it because you have just been pissed off for awhile at that person.  and you've been scheming in your mind what you'd love to truly say to them, but know you never will because it's just mean and makes you look ugly.  well, a tiny little bit of what i have been dying to say slipped out yesterday.  and inevitably...remorse.  and so the mental roller coaster begins...God, heal these wounds. they've been there for years and the scarring is deep.  i don't want to walk out of this hurt, i want to walk out of a heart changed and healed by You.  i have no idea how to make this better.