the happy place

waking up at 5:30 for a 'bobble', endless diaper changing, constant correcting, always feeling like a 'meany', gazing longingly at the project collecting dust in the corner, gazing disgustingly at the hair balls forming all over the hardwood...it's easy to just get sucked into the vortex of 'blah' when life feels like Groundhog Day.  I'm dreaming of a special place that I'm sure doesn't exist.  One that is gated, outside (so my kids are getting their dose of fresh air, haha), but shaded so I don't have to worry about sunscreen, grassy yet bug-free so we don't need the spray, concrete that doesn't hurt when you fall on it.  a place where i can sit, relaxed, watching my kids play and laugh and truly enjoy them without thinking about anything else.  without a magazine, without a book, without a list.  just purely watching them live without having to correct, catch, yell, discipline, clean, collect, assess.  a place where all i need to say is 'good job, wonderful, YES!' a place where the word 'no' isn't needed.  ahhhhh.  that would be a nice change.  God, how can i snap out of this funk? or is it something that isn't supposed to be snapped out of...